I have to admit to being a little apprehensive. I have never rode Patrick on any rides that were just him and I. I haven't rode much in the last 6 years since I got pregnant with my first kid. I work in an operating room where I see a lot of broken bones from people getting bucked off their horses. My brother last spring was in a bad horse accident and broke both wrists and was pretty lucky that was all that broke.
My husband was not quite getting why I was having trouble committing to riding. Finally I decided I had to do it. I couldn't let myself be afraid of something I used to really enjoy. I saddled up. I have to admit the first hour or so I felt pretty tense and out of rhythm with my horse, but then little by little I relaxed and found myself enjoying the ride.
I even managed to snap a few pictures of my view from the saddle with my phone.
I would like to think the rest of the world is like me and has nothing but the best of intentions for others. The truth is though that there is evil out there. Bad things happen. The choice then is do we let it keep us home and on the sideline.
No way!
I carry pepper spray now when I run and pay a little more attention to my surroundings when I run, but I will not let fear keep me away from enjoying the things in life that I love to do.
Ah, great job facing your fear. I completely understand. In the mental health field this is really, really common and can be identified as secondary PTSD. It's not quite like having true PTSD but seeing so much trauma as a result of horse riding it is only common sense that you would feel apprehensive. But you did it!! And you know what? I skipped my run Thursday night after hearing about SUAR's cousin. Then I was scared to go out on Saturday too. It is the common sense that makes us aware that we are not invincible. A healthy fear is good....it makes us safer, more careful. SO now I am heading out for 9 miles, with a friend, my pepper spray, pocket knife, cell phone. But my fear wont keep me down...
ReplyDeleteI was just talking about this with my friend yesterday during our run. It would be so easy to decided "well, I guess I can't run anymore". I lost my ipod, so I have decided to just run without music from now on and carry pepper spray. I can't say I won't be a little more scared now- but hopefully I will also be more aware of what is going on around me. It is heartbreaking when something terrible happens to innocent people- but we can't let that keep us from living our lives.
ReplyDeleteChristy, I have the same problem as you--- I assume that people in the world have good intentions. I try to see the good in people.
ReplyDeleteBut very sadly, this is not an accurate way of looking at the world. Whoever harmed Sherry is part of a large part of society who doesn't do what's right. I can't imagine ever thinking in that sort of mindset.
But good for you for taking smart precautions and getting out there and facing your fears!!
Wow, I'm glad you got back in the saddle. I agree with you on the running thing. So scary about Sherry, but I guess if we thought about every scary thing that happened in the world we would never leave the house. I am going to buy the pepper spray holder you blogged about and wear it for all my hikes and runs.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you were able to get up and face your fear on the horse. I am at a loss for words for Sherry's family and friends - such a terrible thing to have happen.
ReplyDeleteI've only run outside once in the last week, it's really hit me hard that the world isn't necessarily safe as I'd like to think it is. I love running outside when I have a chance and I don't want to give it up. So, I am going to start carrying pepper spray too.
ReplyDeleteI'm always nervous getting out for an early morning run in the dark, alone, and I live in what's been ranked the second safest big city in the US. You just never know.
ReplyDeleteWell done getting back in the saddle :)
great post and beautiful pictures!
ReplyDeleteThe things about fear is that you can't live in a bubble. What happened to Sherry scares us because it happened while she was doing something we all do every day, but in reality it could have happened while she was walking from a store to her car, or checking her mail, or walking her dog, or going to the bank. And yes, you could have been bucked off the horse and hurt, but runners hurt themselves falling down stairs and tripping over curbs all the time too. I think the best we all can do is be smart, be careful, take precautions, but go out and live our lives.
So glad you had a nice ride. I MISS my horses big time. :)
I am not going to let my fears get to me. I can't or I'd be stuck in the house all of the time. Instead, I'm going to run with the dog, with my phone, no iPod, getting pepper spray & changing my route a lot.
ReplyDeleteI just wish you would have told me you were going and I might have tried harder to come! Surely Gramma needed one more kid, she sounded a bit frazzeled when I talked to her and there were only 4 there. One more might have sent her off the deep end! (particularly Chase) Glad you got back out there, Pat is such a nice horse. I think Gus messed up your head a bit. I remember Lucky doing that to me--only lucky for me I was only 9 at the time. It just takes a good horse and some saddle time to recover. I can't wait until the kids are all big enough to go riding more. Yay for "joy rides"!
ReplyDeleteGood for you, Christy, for getting out there! Bet your horse was glad to see you too.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard facing our fears... but I recall an old adage about the fear being worse than the actual situation.
It is a good idea to prepare and do things safely, of course. But we cannot let fear rule our lives.
Good post topic!
I LOVE being on a horse. I just feel at home on one. I love that pic of his little ears with all the cattle in the background! great job Christy :) and pepper spray is a godsend! ....except if you get a friend by accident
ReplyDeleteIf I lived where you live, I don't think I would have ever taken up running because I'd be in the saddle every second possible. Horses and dogs are my first love (I spent every summer while growing up on my great-uncle's ranch in Michigan). I've been stomped on, thrown off, and pushed around, but I still love them. It's all about not letting small incidents break you, so AWESOME JOB getting back "in the saddle". :) I've always thought that the longer you waited to get back, the harder it will be.
ReplyDeleteThe only time I've ever felt the need to carry pepper spray before was when I was running in the dark or when I knew I'd be running near a cornfield when the corn was tall. Oh, and the handful of times I had to run in the city (yikes! how do people do that every day?!). I think that's going to change. I've already started looking for a smaller canister to wear on my iPod armband.
Good for you that you got on the saddle!!! I so so so so miss horseback riding. Such great exercise too for those thigh muscles (at least for me LOL).
ReplyDeleteGreat job facing your fears! I refuse to stay inside as well, and like you I'm trying to take more precautions. I've seen a lot online lately about pepper spray - may need to look into that too!
ReplyDeletebeautiful pictures! and such true words about facing our fears!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on facing your fear! I must admit, when I just seen the title and the picture, I got a little excited! I thought "OMG - No way! Someone else is actually afraid of cows!" But alas, your fear was actually legimitate :) Happy Trails to you!
ReplyDeletewonderful post. sherry has been on my mind a lot over the last few days. i agree with the fact that we cannot let evil keep us from doing what we love. thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI want to borrow your life for like a week. They call that a dude ranch, right? :)
ReplyDeleteFirst of all let me say great job in facing your fear. Second of all let me say that is a beautiful picture of the cows and all that open land. We have horses and yet I haven't ridden in years. I'm determined to change that this summer. :)
ReplyDeleteShannon
Http://www.everystepcounts365.wordpress.com
What an awesome post! I completely agree. I'm going to buy some pepper spray for a few members of my family too.
ReplyDeleteWay to get back on the horse! ;-)
ReplyDeleteDid your parents ever say that to you growing up? Great post.
I refuse to let fear rule my life.
Way you face your fears! Next time get a pic of you on the horse :)
ReplyDeleteGreat job facing your fears! I often have the same conversation with myself in same situation. 200 head of 1000lbs cows are intimidating even when going the correct direction. I find the same therapy riding and moving cows as I do running, its pushing yourself past your own self-imposed limits. Just one you have more control over the situation (running) and the other your at the mercy of critters and their attitudes. I have thought about Sherry so many time in the past few days. The innocence of running was lost for alot of us when Sherry lost her life. Cannot let fear win, we now run for ourselves and for Sherry. At least, I do.
ReplyDeleteSo awesome! Seriously, the pictures you post are beautiful!
ReplyDeleteHey you...cowgirl! You live in such a gorgeous place!
ReplyDeleteMoving cows on horseback sounds like a great way to spend a day! The news about Sherry Arnold has been on my mind so much lately. My heart goes out to her friends and family.
ReplyDelete